The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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