he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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