This is not my ceiling
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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