bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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