He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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