gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
