He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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