I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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