So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
