that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Small penises have feelings too.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
