ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
