it was like his penis was on wheels.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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