Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize