So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
where does the pee come out of this thing
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
