I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
