i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
