Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
