the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
