last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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