She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
