Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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