My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Operation Purity has been aborted
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
