I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
