I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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