bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
