Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
