I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
