I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
