walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
