Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
