and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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