I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
