He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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