how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
