we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
