i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
