He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Can I color on your dick again?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
