So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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