just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
