You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
