Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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