And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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