We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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