the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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