did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
