Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
