Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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