Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
