and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
