and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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