He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Couch. On fire.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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