She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
