I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
