it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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