The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
