Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
