I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
