Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
