I wish life had little blips of pornography
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
