Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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