my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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