sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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