you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize