Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
