guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
