There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
