Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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