I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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