Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
