Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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